2 Poems from My Favorite Poet

 Robert Frost


"Into My Own"

One of my wishes is that those dark trees,
So old and firm they scarcely show the breeze,
Were not, as 'twere, the merest mask of gloom,
But stretched away unto the edge of doom.

I should not be withheld but that some day
into their vastness I should steal away,
Fearless of ever finding open land,
or highway where the slow wheel pours the sand.

I do not see why I should e'er turn back,
Or those should not set forth upon my track
To overtake me, who should miss me here
And long to know if still I held them dear.

They would not find me changed from him the knew--
Only more sure of all I though was true.




"The Road Not Taken"

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Wake Up Call

I'm tossing and turning in bed. It is still dark out. Why am I awake if my alarm hasn't gone off yet? Did I go to bed too early? Do I need to take an allergy pill? Pee?

I get up to check the time. Why is my body awake at... HEY! Why is my phone not on?! It is plugged in!

Frantically, I take my phone and charger to the kitchen outlet and turn it on. yikes! 6:40 am...

My alarm usually goes off around 6am. I am late for school. It feels like high school all over again. Except, when you are the teacher, you have more people counting on you being there. Well, I ended up getting there with plenty of time. I'm just lucky that my natural time clock woke me up.

On the drive to school, I thought about some other wake up calls in my life.

Wake up Call number 1.

Getting Married. I am getting married. YES! But there are so many things that come along with that. Wake up, and grow up--really fast.

Wake up Call number 2.

December 11th= KSU graduation=the beginning and hopefully the end of my unemployment. But Graduation also marks the end of something that I love probably way too much--school. I am pondering the costs and possibilities of Grad school. Wake up! Student loans suck. Real life lesson: nothing comes free. I believe in education, but do I believe in debt?

Wake up Call number 3.

LGN: non-existent. I can't push the snooze on this one. The gym misses me.

Wake up Call number 4.

Life is not invincible. With death and injuries abounding at an all time high around me, I find myself thanking God for my every breath. Every moment is precious. Every moment needs to be lived. Be thankful for every moment you have with your loved ones. You never know when someone might be living their last week, or losing part of who they are.

Wake up Call number 5.

Not everything is a walk in the park, but walking in the park might help. Sometimes I forget to go outside, besides the walk to and from the car.

Wake up Call number 6.

The pinnacle moment of my education quickly approaches. I will teach Frankenstein to over 80 Seniors at MHS in two weeks! Can't hit the snooze on the couch after school now... It's time to get some concrete plans made.

Well, it is now hour 2 at High School. My arabic student came in rapping in his mother tongue. I guess that is a wake up call to be more engaged in my students' lives rather than my blog.

HEY! Why didn't you bring your nice student teacher Starbucks? I take vanilla lattes if you are interested.

Wake up. Life calls.

This is my prayer in the desert

This week has been quite the ride. Sometimes God's timeline and plans just don't make a whole lot of sense. I know that is the point, but it really is difficult.

My Grandma Lewis had a stroke in California on vacation on Monday. She has been in the ICU for this week. They discovered that a clot had been forming that was inhibiting blood from getting into the left side of her brain. The doctors said that she may not be able to recover fully if at all. We are still waiting to hear more, but it doesn't seem to be very hopeful at the moment. She is not doing well physically. Please pray for her recovery and for my family if you think of it. There are many things to be thankful for in this situation. She had been on the trip of a lifetime with her sister when this happened. She was enjoying life and taking chances-something she doesn't do very often. She is still here. And even though she isn't completely here, she is here. I am so thankful that my Great Aunt was with her when this happened. I am so thankful that my dad is home safe from Africa and can go see her tomorrow. I am thankful that my family knows the Lord, and that my Grandma knows the Lord.

Living in this world that isn't my home can get exhausting... and that is an understatement.

I persevere, knowing that my purpose is greater than my own. His will is greater than my own. There are things left to hope for, and I am still waiting for my savior to come.

wandering thoughts of a student teacher

In these early stages of exploration in teaching, I am becoming more and more aware of the diversity of educators. Its like eating a corn dog for the first time in your life after only ever eating rice or fish. Both are accomplishing the same task, being fed. However, the differences can be astounding.

Is one better than the other? maybe. They are mostly just different.

I am discovering the differences.

vent (to the tune of my favorite things)

shushing and sleeping and bright tired faces.
crazies and lazies in all sorts of places.
why is there no place to study tonight?
could it be that finals week is nigh?

munching and crunching and echos of Bieber
why is it college girls now have the fever?
I get so angry when Pandora says baby,
someone come help me before I go crazy.

When the sun shines,
When I'm writing,
It makes me feel so sad.

I simply remember its finals week curse
and that makes me feel, so much worse.

black gowns and cheering throughout all the campus
graduating in December, I simply can't stand this.
Just give me some coffee and turn on itunes
At least I'm not unemployed, like you.

Goodbyes and transitions, my days are numbered
but with parties and weddings my bank account went under
I simply can't see past this negative fog.
I guess that's why I chose to write on my blog.

When I'm grumpy
And there's finals
I can write mean poems

But then I remember that summer is coming
and that makes me want, to go home.

Time Has Other Plans

Tragically true, the end is coming. In some ways it already has. I went to my last undergrad college class yesterday. I have my future planned as far as the rest of 2010 goes. And I am emotionally and mentally coming to terms with my alumni status of Kappa Kappa Gamma. While the future daunts and taunts me, I just want to sit in a hammock and rewind the last 4 years of my life please.

College has been an experience that has shaped me in so many different ways. I look back and think about the naive young person I was when I came, and I am grateful. Innocence can often times translate as ignorance. My post-high school grad self had no clue in the world. And while I do not consider myself to have grasped knowledge in its entirety, I know I am wiser due to my experiences away from everything that used to be familiar.

Friendship found me so fast here. I am having to say goodbye to so many incredible people, which just plain sucks. Thankfully, some people are not leaving. And for the rest, well, I am thankful for technology. I have some talented friends. I can't wait to see where life takes them.

Well, I am getting married in 238 days. As far off as it seems, I know it will come fast. Watching my friends step into this journey before me is such a blessing. I cannot wait to see Hannah become Mrs. Brown, Alli become Mrs. Wilde, Rachel become Mrs. Neihart, Becca become Mrs. Strom, and Rochelle become Mrs. Veitenheimer (and so many more). It is truly a blessing to have so many friends to turn to for advice and support.

Eric, what a man! I am just blown away every day by the man God has given me to spend the rest of my life with. He compliments me in so many perfect ways, and knows me so well. We get anxious a lot for the future, but this part in our story has been so beautifully crafted. I have grown to love him even more since our engagement. Preparing for marriage is sometimes stressful, but always exciting.


So in a small way, I am ready for the future. But in many ways, I just want to stay right here, in this moment, the friday afternoon of the last week of college classes. Time, however, has a different agenda. And God, He has better plans. I am positively sure of that.

rain on Earth Day

There is nothing more inspirational than rain. I am convinced that magical beads of inspiration fall inside the droplets and every time they hit my head, I get a supposedly brilliant idea. And since I walked to class in the rain this morning at 7:45 am, I will attempt to capture the brilliance. No promises.

College pen chewing. Equally disturbed apathy
motivation stripped bare barely catching
her breath
coffee, stained teeth, burying ebony childlike innocence.
The irony of a deep criticism in Children's classic novels
as adults, insults
an everlasting never changing or growing Peter, Alice, Lucy, Tom.
a child lives forever.
college: ends.

Wealth and Poverty Abound for a Reason

It seems to me that I am completely numb to devastation and loss of human life. The earthquake in Haiti seems so distant. It is hard to comprehend. And yet, I don't think that any amount of images can destroy the wall of numbness I have created around myself. I think I figured out what the root of the numbness is, however. My selfish pride lurks around every corner seeking to devour any compassion that may have been left in my heart. I spend my days consumed in vanity, materialism, and utter selfishness. These things have caused me to set aside eternity and forget about the overall human condition. How can I sit back and not do something? I live amongst riches and wealth and I complain about money. I am rich. Besides my earthly possessions, I am rich in Christ. This is the only richness that will never be contained or depleted. The richness of Christ is abundant. Step outside my bank account. I am willing to give, Lord, because of your great mercy and love.