vent (to the tune of my favorite things)

shushing and sleeping and bright tired faces.
crazies and lazies in all sorts of places.
why is there no place to study tonight?
could it be that finals week is nigh?

munching and crunching and echos of Bieber
why is it college girls now have the fever?
I get so angry when Pandora says baby,
someone come help me before I go crazy.

When the sun shines,
When I'm writing,
It makes me feel so sad.

I simply remember its finals week curse
and that makes me feel, so much worse.

black gowns and cheering throughout all the campus
graduating in December, I simply can't stand this.
Just give me some coffee and turn on itunes
At least I'm not unemployed, like you.

Goodbyes and transitions, my days are numbered
but with parties and weddings my bank account went under
I simply can't see past this negative fog.
I guess that's why I chose to write on my blog.

When I'm grumpy
And there's finals
I can write mean poems

But then I remember that summer is coming
and that makes me want, to go home.

Time Has Other Plans

Tragically true, the end is coming. In some ways it already has. I went to my last undergrad college class yesterday. I have my future planned as far as the rest of 2010 goes. And I am emotionally and mentally coming to terms with my alumni status of Kappa Kappa Gamma. While the future daunts and taunts me, I just want to sit in a hammock and rewind the last 4 years of my life please.

College has been an experience that has shaped me in so many different ways. I look back and think about the naive young person I was when I came, and I am grateful. Innocence can often times translate as ignorance. My post-high school grad self had no clue in the world. And while I do not consider myself to have grasped knowledge in its entirety, I know I am wiser due to my experiences away from everything that used to be familiar.

Friendship found me so fast here. I am having to say goodbye to so many incredible people, which just plain sucks. Thankfully, some people are not leaving. And for the rest, well, I am thankful for technology. I have some talented friends. I can't wait to see where life takes them.

Well, I am getting married in 238 days. As far off as it seems, I know it will come fast. Watching my friends step into this journey before me is such a blessing. I cannot wait to see Hannah become Mrs. Brown, Alli become Mrs. Wilde, Rachel become Mrs. Neihart, Becca become Mrs. Strom, and Rochelle become Mrs. Veitenheimer (and so many more). It is truly a blessing to have so many friends to turn to for advice and support.

Eric, what a man! I am just blown away every day by the man God has given me to spend the rest of my life with. He compliments me in so many perfect ways, and knows me so well. We get anxious a lot for the future, but this part in our story has been so beautifully crafted. I have grown to love him even more since our engagement. Preparing for marriage is sometimes stressful, but always exciting.


So in a small way, I am ready for the future. But in many ways, I just want to stay right here, in this moment, the friday afternoon of the last week of college classes. Time, however, has a different agenda. And God, He has better plans. I am positively sure of that.

rain on Earth Day

There is nothing more inspirational than rain. I am convinced that magical beads of inspiration fall inside the droplets and every time they hit my head, I get a supposedly brilliant idea. And since I walked to class in the rain this morning at 7:45 am, I will attempt to capture the brilliance. No promises.

College pen chewing. Equally disturbed apathy
motivation stripped bare barely catching
her breath
coffee, stained teeth, burying ebony childlike innocence.
The irony of a deep criticism in Children's classic novels
as adults, insults
an everlasting never changing or growing Peter, Alice, Lucy, Tom.
a child lives forever.
college: ends.

Wealth and Poverty Abound for a Reason

It seems to me that I am completely numb to devastation and loss of human life. The earthquake in Haiti seems so distant. It is hard to comprehend. And yet, I don't think that any amount of images can destroy the wall of numbness I have created around myself. I think I figured out what the root of the numbness is, however. My selfish pride lurks around every corner seeking to devour any compassion that may have been left in my heart. I spend my days consumed in vanity, materialism, and utter selfishness. These things have caused me to set aside eternity and forget about the overall human condition. How can I sit back and not do something? I live amongst riches and wealth and I complain about money. I am rich. Besides my earthly possessions, I am rich in Christ. This is the only richness that will never be contained or depleted. The richness of Christ is abundant. Step outside my bank account. I am willing to give, Lord, because of your great mercy and love.

soggy leaves compose this typical college monday

Here in the silence of noise my thoughts unravel from today.
Do I appear to be something I am not in order to fill my proper image in others' minds?
Am I simply emulating what I see in those I strive to mirror?
Do my intentions become interrupted by my interior?
Then do my actions show my true self?
Do my desires boil over to action, or do I sit aimlessly without drive?
When does it end? When will I realize time scatters like thoughts as I walk home? These thoughts never encounter reality, but rather exist in a fleeting moment--gone with the leaves.

My First Post

So here it is! I have been wanting to have a blog for a while, and I just got around to it. I am not feeling like a real post, so I will just post this. Its not an inspiring moment, but rather a technologically advanced one. I hope to bring more words to the blog soon.